Title: “Clash on Dr. Phil”
[Scene: The Dr. Phil stage. Nadya Riot sits with arms crossed, glaring at Danielle Bregoli, aka the “Cash Me Outside” girl. Dr. Phil sits between them, looking mildly amused but ready to mediate.]
Dr. Phil:
Alright, ladies, let’s keep it civil. Nadya, you reached out because you’ve got some strong feelings about Danielle’s rise to fame. What’s on your mind?
Nadya Riot:
Yeah, Dr. Phil, I just wanna know—why the hell are we making stupid people famous? This girl disrespected her mom on your show, acted like a fool, and now she’s rich? That’s the message we’re sending?
Danielle Bregoli:
Girl, you mad ‘cause I got a bag and you don’t? Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
Nadya Riot:
Oh, I hate the game. Trust me. But you played it by making disrespect cool. And now kids out here think acting like a brat will make them millionaires.
Danielle Bregoli:
And? If they dumb enough to follow, that ain’t on me. I turned a meme into a career. That’s called hustlin’, sweetie.
Dr. Phil:
Now, hold on, Danielle. What Nadya’s saying is that society seems to reward bad behavior. Do you think that’s a problem?
Danielle Bregoli:
Nah, the real problem is people like her sittin’ here, complainin’ instead of gettin’ theirs. I made somethin’ outta nothin’. Y’all just mad it wasn’t you.
Nadya Riot:
Nah, what I’m mad about is how easy it is for the worst behavior to go viral while talented people struggle. Imagine if scientists or teachers got this kind of attention. But no, we hype up people who throw tantrums on TV.
Danielle Bregoli:
Ain’t my fault what people wanna watch. Maybe y’all shoulda made science more entertaining.
Dr. Phil:
Alright, alright. I think we’re at a crossroads here. Nadya, I see your frustration. Danielle, I see your perspective. But let’s ask—where do we go from here?
Nadya Riot:
We stop feeding the machine. Stop sharing, stop clicking, stop making nonsense viral. We need to uplift people who actually make the world better, not just people who act out.
Danielle Bregoli:
That’s cute. But lemme know how that works out. ‘Cause last I checked, y’all still talkin’ about me.
Dr. Phil:
Well, I think we’ve all got something to think about. And on that note, we’ll be right back after this commercial break.
[Fade to black. Nadya and Danielle glare at each other as the cameras cut.]
[Joe leans back in his chair, arms crossed, shaking his head as he watches Nadya and Danielle argue on the Dr. Phil stage. When there’s a brief pause, he chimes in.]
Joe:
Nadya, you’re wastin’ your breath. This ain’t about talent or intelligence. We live in an Idiocracy, where tards lead kick-ass lives and smart people starve. The system’s rigged. Stupidity sells, and the people in charge wanna keep it that way.
Dr. Phil:
Now Joe, that’s a pretty bleak outlook—
Joe:
Is it? Look around. We got politicians who can barely string a sentence together, influencers gettin’ rich off dumb pranks, and entire reality shows dedicated to people makin’ bad decisions. Meanwhile, the scientists, teachers, and thinkers? Broke. Barely makin’ rent.
Nadya Riot:
That’s exactly what I’m saying!
Danielle Bregoli:
Y’all just sound bitter. Maybe smart people just need better marketing.
Joe:
Nah, the game ain’t built for ‘em. The ones runnin’ the show want people distracted. The dumber we are, the easier we are to control. And you? You’re the perfect tool for that.
Danielle Bregoli:
Pffft. Whatever. I still got my millions. What y’all got?
Joe:
Dignity.
Danielle Bregoli:
Sounds like a broke person’s excuse.
Nadya Riot:
And that right there is why society is doomed.
[Dr. Phil sighs deeply as the crowd erupts in mixed reactions. Cut to commercial.]
[Scene: Backstage after the Dr. Phil show. Nadya Riot, still fuming, scrolls through her phone. She stumbles upon Danielle Bregoli’s latest rap video and scoffs before hitting play.]
Nadya Riot (muttering to herself):
Alright, let’s see what lyrical masterpiece we got here…
[The beat drops. The music video is flashy—Danielle’s flexing stacks of cash, sitting in luxury cars, rapping about how rich she is while surrounded by people nodding along like she’s Shakespeare.]
Nadya Riot (sarcastic):
Oh wow. Revolutionary. A song about money, flexin’, and… more money. So deep. Really pushin’ the boundaries of human thought.
[She watches for another few seconds, then groans.]
Nadya Riot:
Jesus Christ. This ain’t rap, it’s a brain-cell genocide. Who’s writin’ this? A middle school dropout with a thesaurus?
[She scrolls down to the comments section and starts typing furiously.]
Nadya Riot (typing):
“This is what happens when you let viral stupidity mutate into a career. A talentless brat yelling over a beat about how rich she is, while people with actual skill can’t even get a record deal. Humanity peaked, folks. We’re done.”
[She smirks, then keeps going.]
“Also, why does this look like every generic SoundCloud rapper’s music video? Just fast cars, stacks of money, and fake bad-girl energy. We get it. You ‘made it.’ But at what cost? Society lost, that’s what.”
[She hits post. A few seconds later, notifications start blowing up with replies—some agreeing, some defending Danielle. Nadya just sighs, shaking her head.]
Nadya Riot (to herself):
Man… Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a damn documentary.