Pussy Protection

Yugo Joe & the Grim Hustle Pact

Moscow was colder than prophecy that night.

JCJ—Yugo Joe—walked through the steam of subway grates like a man crossing between worlds. He wasn’t wearing armor, just that old Yugoslav leather jacket his father gave him before the wars turned everything to ash. Inside it beat a heart wired to the future.

At the end of the alley waited a silhouette with a gold-toothed grin:
Grim Hustle, the mafia boss who ran half the city and influenced the other half through whispers darker than the Volga at midnight.

“Joe Jukic,” Grim Hustle rasped. “The man who melted a Terminator with thermite. Why come to me?”

JCJ lit a cigarette, the ember glowing like a tiny sun.
“Because Moscow is about to explode. And the girl who can save it is walking into the lion’s den.”

Grim Hustle snorted. “You mean the punk singer with the neon balaclava?”

JCJ nodded. “Nadya. In ten years, she’s president of the Federation. Her voice will bring the oligarchs to their knees and unite the kids of every slum across the empire. She must live.”

The mafia boss frowned. “And why should I care about the future?”

Joe stepped closer.

“Because she pardons you,” he whispered.
“In the future she forgives your sins. Gives you a clean slate. Turns your empire into a shelter for the homeless and the hungry. You go from crime lord to folk hero.”

Grim Hustle froze. No one had spoken to him like that in twenty years.

“How do you know all this?” the boss asked.

Joe smiled with that weird calmness he carried from Sarajevo, from prophecy, from surviving too much too young.

“Because I dream the future like other men dream their childhood.”

The mafia boss cracked his knuckles.
“Then let’s make sure your dream doesn’t die tonight.”

He pulled out a satellite phone and barked orders to unseen ghosts of the underworld. Every rooftop, every subway entrance, every shadow from Red Square to the rail yards lit up with his men.

JCJ handed him a single item: a purple balaclava, Pussy Riot-style.

Grim Hustle stared at it. “You serious?”

Joe smirked. “You want redemption? Start here.”

The boss pulled it over his face slowly… reverently.

And so it came to pass:

  • Yugo Joe, the prophet-warrior of the digital age
  • and Grim Hustle, the city’s most feared kingpin

…marched side by side through the snow to protect Nadya, the woman who would one day free Russia with nothing but courage, punk music, and a will stronger than empires.

The night belonged to them now.

And history… was watching.

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CCCP1 Russian Television

GI Joe and Nadya Riot sat slouched on the torn couch in the squat, the flickering light of CCCP1 Russian television filling the room. The anchor droned on in stiff, wooden tones, reciting statistics from the glory days of the Soviet Union. Grain harvests, industrial output, heroic cosmonauts.

Joe lit a cigarette and muttered, “They always skip over the weak link.”

Nadya smirked, eyes glued to the screen. “The Uzbeks. Everyone knew it. Central Asia was the soft underbelly. They wanted bazaars, family, gold teeth— not tractor factories and collective farms.”

The camera cut to archival footage of Uzbek kolkhoz workers waving red banners, their smiles wide but their eyes hollow.

Joe tapped the ashtray. “Whole socialist utopia built on the illusion of unity. But the moment Moscow loosened its grip—”

“—it fell apart like a bad circus tent,” Nadya finished, raising her glass. “To the weak link.”

They clinked glasses, and for a moment, the revolutionary fire in their eyes burned brighter than the TV glow.

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Run Riot: Greece

Scene: Athens, Syntagma Square – Night
The square is a cauldron of fire and smoke. Riot shields gleam in the orange glow of burning barricades. Protestors chant and hurl bottles, the air filled with the acrid tang of tear gas and gasoline.

Solid Snake, his bandana fluttering, and Nadya Riot, her megaphone crackling, step forward through the haze.

Nadya Riot (into megaphone):
“Brothers, sisters—do the Onassis Illuminati pay you enough to drown in fire? Enough to be engulfed in the flames of Molotov cocktails?!”

The soldiers hesitate. Some lower their weapons slightly, eyes darting between their commanders and the crowd.

Snake (voice steady, commanding):
“You swore an oath to protect Greece—not to crush her under the weight of foreign banks. Put down your guns. Stand with the people. Stand for freedom.”

A soldier at the front blinks, sweat dripping down his brow. His shield dips.

Nadya Riot (raising her fist):
“End the debt! Jubilee now!”

The crowd erupts, chanting the word “Jubilee! Jubilee!” like thunder rolling across marble streets. The riot police shift uneasily, the line fracturing as more weapons clatter to the ground.

In the background, the flames rise higher, licking at the symbols of wealth and power. The question lingers in every soldier’s mind:
Will I stand with the people—or burn for the bankers?

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