The setting is a dimly lit, sticker-plastered dive bar backroom. Yugo Joe is nursing a lukewarm beer, while Nadya Riot is busy stitching a “Tax the Rich” patch onto a frayed denim vest.
Yugo Joe: (Sighing, gesturing at a news clip on the muted TV) Look at that guy. Another gold-plated tower, another fleet of planes. It’s exhausting, Nadya. How can anyone think being that rich is “cool”? It’s just… heavy.
Nadya Riot: (Without looking up) Cool? Joe, the man’s aesthetic is “dictator chic” from a 1980s catalog. There’s no soul in it. You can’t be cool when you’re obsessed with your own name in neon. Coolness requires a certain amount of detachment, right? He’s the opposite. He’s attached to every cent.
Yugo Joe: Exactly! It’s the selfishness that kills it for me. I always thought being cool meant being a man of the people—or at least having enough self-awareness to share the room. He treats the whole world like his personal lobby. If you aren’t helping him win, you don’t exist.
Nadya Riot: It’s a scarcity mindset, which is hilarious for a billionaire. He acts like if he gives away a crumb of credit or a dollar of tax, his whole ego will deflate. Real coolness is generative. It’s punk, it’s DIY, it’s collective energy. You can’t buy “edge” at a country club, I don’t care how many zeros are in your bank account.
Yugo Joe: Right? He’s got all the money in the world and he uses it to buy… more of the same. More mirrors. It’s like he’s stuck in a loop of trying to prove he’s the biggest guy in the room. A cool person doesn’t have to tell you they’re the “best” every five minutes. They just are.
Nadya Riot: (She bites the thread and finally looks up) It’s because he’s a consumer, Joe. A professional consumer. He consumes attention, land, and loyalty. But art? Rebellion? Authentic style? Those things require sacrifice and empathy. He’s too selfish to ever let a moment be about something bigger than himself.
Yugo Joe: I guess that’s the tragedy of it. He’s got the resources to change the world, but he’s too busy checking the gold leaf on his bathroom fixtures.
Nadya Riot: Let him have his gold. It’s heavy, it’s soft, and it’s gaudy. I’ll take a canvas jacket and a loud guitar any day. You can’t be a rebel when you are the system.
